“On A Personal Note” My family and I don’t like clowns.

We were at a birthday party for a 3 year old. My son was moving about really enjoying himself as he played games with the children. Suddenly a clown came out and most of the children got excited as they crowded around it. Paul was standing away from it, with a flushed terrified face. He started to walk backwards to me, but he kept his eyes on the clown. When he got to me, he put his head in my lap. “Mom, hold me and don’t let me go.”

Although I knew why he was scared, I asked him what was wrong.

“I don’t like clowns. They are ugly and real scary. Please don’t let it touch me.” His little body was trembling.

I reassured him I would not let it touch him. A year later when he was 4, we went to the circus. The moment the clowns came out, he started to describe them individually. Hearing him opened my eyes to how unattractive they are. I went to the circus 12 years later because my daughter wanted to go. When the clowns came out, Sarah said, “Mom. I don’t like clowns. They are ugly. I wish they did not have them at the circus.  

Clowns are really nerve-racking creatures. There will be clown costumes for Halloween and they will be the ugliest and most troubling. 

I do not like Halloween so I would not be trick-or-treating. For all the people who will be trick-or treating, I hope you have a safe fun-filled enjoyable time.

Whether he is Black, White, Hispanic, Indian, Asian etc, he is human and he can be a lover or a brute.

My romance books are about black men and how much of a kind, devoted and great lover most of them are. Many of the other races tend to think that the black male is a brute, but I grew up in a home with 4 black males and they were not brutes. I dated black males and they were not brutes. My husband is black and he is not a brute. Most of my inspiration for my story lines comes from my husband… 

“On A Personal Note” PSYCHIC —In Trinbago we call them SEE-ER WOMAN or SEE-ER MAN”

My husband is hysterical. He said one day when he was living in Trinbago, a co-worker told him that he went to a see-er woman (Psychic). She told him a lot of things and they are happening.

“Them real good, oui, but I does see too,” My husband said.

“Yeh?” The co-worker said.

“Ent —(Is that not so? Isn’t it true) when your mother washing she does sing?”

“Boy! How you know that? Oh gosh you hit the nail on the head. Just this morning she was washing and singing.

 “I know that. I tell you, I does see,” My husband said he was laughing inside, because all Trinbago women does sing, while they are washing. After that he became his co-worker see-er man, Psychic. The mistake he made was not charging him for being gullible. 

24 years ago today at 3:31in the morning my son, Paul came into this world. He is the kind of child any mother, father, brother or sister would be proud of... We all thank God for him. Happy birthday Paul. Love you so much...

“Don’t let the negative pounce on the positive”

I started my first novel and was afraid to tell anyone that I was writing. After I had finished my manuscript, I told my immediate family. Years later I finally got the nerve to tell my circle of friends, and other family members. They all told me that it was a great idea, and they can’t wait to read it. I sent it out to publishing houses, but was rejected over and over. I felt a bit discouraged for a while, but then I self-published. I sold copies to my family, friends, and to strangers. The phone calls started coming in with great positive comments about the book. Even those strangers who purchased books were complimenting me. I was excited, so I decided to make phone calls to the relatives and friends I didn’t hear from. They all made a 360-degree turn around. Some of their comments were, “I don’t like it, Who told you that you could write?, You should find another profession, Writing is not for you.” This one was a classic, “I didn’t read it. I put it up on a shelf.” I felt crushed and trampled on, forgetting I had gotten great compliments. I turned off my computer, and decided to stop writing, allowing the negatives to weigh heavy on my mind. It took me a while to realize that these people were being mean, and I should hold on to the moment of assurance. So here I am with 5 books on the market, Jan’s Mysterious Adventure, The Forest Is Our Home, Sandy, Leigh’s Story, A Near Fatal Twist and 2 books coming soon…

“Writing”

Many people are asking me about writing a book. It is not a major challenge because there is always something to write about — the scenery, the atmosphere, and that person who walked by. You heard something, or just your imagination working on a character, an event, or scenery. All these things make an impact on your thoughts. Get on your computer, or get a notebook, and start writing… You have a voice; use it!

Don’t worry about arranging your paragraphs, and your chapters. When you are finished writing, start editing. You would eventually know how to format your paragraphs, and then your chapters… A Valentine Joseph.

“Sorry”

It was a slow process in my life, but I grew extreme dislike for the word, ‘SORRY’. Sorry flows out of the mouth easily for many people after they did something hurtful to you. Although they know that, that thing will hurt you, they still do it. After all is said and done they say, “SORRY.” I believe that saying sorry is to cover up how they really feel about you … hate.

“Patience”

A man sowed precious seed. While he slept an evil one went forth and sowed a measure full of darnel seed, then went his way. The soil was good, and so the wheat and darnel grew.

When the servants saw the weedy grass among the wheat, they said to the owner, “You sowed good seed, but where did this weedy grass come from?”

“An enemy has done this,” said the man.

“Shall we go out and pull up by the root, the grass?”

“No. The wheat and the grass grow close together in the soil. If you pull the grass you would destroy the wheat. Let them grow together until the harvest~… Matt. 13:24-30

Patience is a lesson to learn

The constant dropping of the water wears away the hardest stone…

Let not your heart be troubled. Nor fear your soul dismay. There is a wise Defender and He will be your stay. Where you have failed, He conquers. See, how the foeman flies! And all your tribulation is turned to glad surprise. If for a while it seemeth, His mercy is withdrawn, that He no longer careth for His wandering child forlorn, doubt not His great compassion, His love can never tire, To those who wait in patience, He gives their heart's desire… (Heidi Chapter 17)

A blessed safe day to you and yours.

“Love ... Hopelessly Devoted”

A child comes into the world innocent and kindhearted. They are hopelessly devoted to their nurturer. All they are asking, as their innocent, kind eyes look into your eyes, is that you love and be kindhearted to them.

The circumstances that brought that child/children into your care, doesn’t matter. Be loving and kind to him/her. The end result leaves you with a wonderful feeling.

“I am not taking it anymore”

Many people would ignore you for months, don’t even say one single word to you. You even try to talk to them and they do not want to talk, you step back, feeling hurt that you are being treated this way; and you don’t know why. Years later they contact you and start talking as though you have been talking daily. They do not say anything to you about the reason for their disregard.

Years ago I would talk to people who treated me like that … talking as though nothing was amiss. Today I am not taking it anymore. If you want to be friends with me, tell me what I did to cause you to treat me as an enemy and be truthful about it. DO NOT LIE TO ME!

If you don’t want to talk to me about your disregard then DO NOT CONTACT ME!

“Sell Yourself Short”

“I am a nice person.” Every time I hear someone say that I felt that they should not say it. Someone else would know if you are a nice person, by your behavior.

During my family heart-to-heart, my son said, “I am a nice person.”

We all said that we know that, but I continued, “You need to stop saying that. The other person would know if you are a nice person.”

His father said, “You know yourself. He is right not to sell himself short because he knows himself better than anyone else does. You should not wait for someone else to tell you who you are. They may not be truthful.”

I stand corrected. Yes I know me. Who I am, what I LOVE, LIKE, WANT, WILL DO, WILL NOT DO. I am not going to sell myself short. I hope you do not.

“I AM A NICE PERSON.”

A blessed safe day to you and yours.

Ps. 101:1-3. Of Kindness and judgment I will sing; to you, O LORD, I will sing praise. I will persevere in the way of integrity; when will you come to me? I will walk in the integrity of my heart, within my house. I will not set before my eye any base thing. Amen. 6-7. My eyes are upon the faithful of the land that they may dwell with me. He who walks in the way of integrity shall be in my service. He shall not dwell within my house who practices deceit. He who speaks falsehood shall not stand before my eyes. Amen.

.I believe that principals can make the FIRST CLASS BREAKFAST instead of waiting on legislation.

“Remembering Ms. Adams”

Yes she was principal, but she was mother. On the first day of school for my daughter and the 100 plus children in PS 6, Ms. Adams spoke to them. One thing she said that made me skeptical was, “I am going to know each and everyone of you by name before this school year is over.”

“No way,” One parent whispered and I agreed. Another parent who was sitting close to us said, “She will. I have a son in this school. One day I was sitting in his class and Miss Adams came in, pointed at each child then she said their name. When she was finished they were all standing up smiling and clapping their hands. Trust me she will know their names.”

So said so done. She knew my daughter’s and the other student’s names. She even knew the parents. Every time she and I crossed paths she used to say, “Sarah’s mommy, how are you?”

On mornings when the children arrived they were allowed to play in the yard and those who wanted breakfast were given breakfast, whether or not they had the money to pay. She was welcoming to parents, children etc.

“First Class Breakfast”

New York Mayor and Governor were asked to implement breakfast as the first class of the day for New York City School Children. I think it is a great idea, but they would take it to a vote, which may take months or years to pass, while children go hungry. I remember Ms Adams principal of PS6 in Brooklyn, New York made sure her children had breakfast everyday, before they start class. 

Disable Retarded – On a personal note

Yesterday in a family discussion the words disable and retarded came up and my daughter was upset. She said that many people use the word ‘RETARDED’ too freely and to her it is worst than saying the ‘F’ word or other curse words. In most cases you can see if someone is disabled, but in many cases you cannot tell if they are retarded —mentally challenged. Some people use the word retarded for fun or in anger to their friends and they don’t know if the other person/s around is mentally challenged. It is hurtful.

I agreed with her. Be respectful and not hurtful with your words. A wonderful safe day to you and yours.

After two this morning, thunder! The rumbling went on for awhile. The wind was blowing the rain against the window and I was wide awake listening and hoping that no more thunder, but it is still going on. Enjoy your day and be safe.

Peace of mind, composure, equanimity, calmness, coolness, self-possession, serenity

I remember when I was a child I spent my day sitting in the yard of the home I grew up in. I used to sit under the Governor plum tree — (A Governor Plum is a small round brownish red color fruit. You have to roll and squeeze it in the palms of your hand, to get the soft texture and the sweetness.)

Sitting in the yard was filled with moments of quietude and I loved it. The sky would always be out of the ordinary and the atmosphere around was always amazing. If I am not sick with bronchitis, as I used to be, my day would end with me falling peacefully asleep, as soon as I lie down. Today I must say that at nights I fall peacefully asleep as soon as I lie down. I thank God for that.

A blessed safe day to you and yours. 

We hold on to the past but the past is always a step ahead. It is sometimes memories that are not worth holding on too, but we hold on. Letting go gives you peace of mind. Let go. Enjoy your day and be safe.

Iyanla Vanzant On Own

I hardly looked at Iyanla Fix My Life on Own, but since she had the man who fathered 34 children with 17 different women, I have been looking at it. First of all I must say that Iyanla Vanzant is a graceful, beautiful and influential woman.

During 34 children Fix My Life show, she said many significant things and the first that stood out to me was during a session with some of the mothers. One woman was angry with another one because they were friends and her friend slept with her man. When she was angrily trash talking her friend, Iyanla said, “YOU LET A PENIS PENETRATE YOUR FRIENDSHIP… A PENIS!

Last night’s episode was the continuation of the father with the 34 children and many other men who father children with several women. I was amazed that some of these men had, more than ten even more than twenty children.

Again Iyanla made many noteworthy statements, but the one that stood out to me was, “YOU ARE NOT A STUD IN THE FIELD, MAKING BABIES FOR THE MASTER TO SELL!”

There are some people who love to trash you making you feel less than naught.

If you read your bible from cover to cover you would not see anything that say you have to be in the presence of hurtful people. God doesn’t want you to feel hurt so if your mother, father, brother, sister, husband, wife or friend, makes you feel depress, sad, gloomy, hopeless  etcetera, etcetera; put them on your cut list. Cut them out of your life.

I wish you love, joy and peace. Enjoy your day and be safe. 

What in darkness does come to light! The old folks said it right because night does run but light does catch up.

“Be kind, gentle, loving and sincere”

I don’t know how your day started and how it is progressing, but I know how my day started and how it is progressing and so far so good.

Good or bad say, “Thank you God for making me see another day.”

Do not leave your home without saying goodbye. You really don’t know if it is the last time you will see your loved one. I wish you strength and courage to face this day. Enjoy it and be safe. 

Yolanda Adams --  “Never Give Up”

Keep the dream alive don't let it die. If something deep inside keeps inspiring you to try, don't stop. And never give up, don't ever give up on you. Don't give up.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpNi_EIxwCw

 

Many of us pray for humans, animals, things, but we all have a bit of selfishness in us. I never heard anyone praying for the devil. There are times when many people do not pray for the person/s that did them wrong, but they pray for harmed to come upon the person/s. Yet on Saturday/Sunday they sit in the front pew and some of them are on the pulpit sermonizing the congregation.

A blessed safe day to you and yours.

Ps. 64:2-9. Hear, O God, my voice in my lament; from the dread enemy preserve my life. Shelter me against the council of malefactors, against the tumult of evildoers, who sharpen their tongues like swords, who aim like arrows their bitter words. Shooting from ambush at the innocent man, suddenly shooting at him without fear. They resolve on their wicked plan; they conspire to set snares saying, “Who will see us?” They devise a wicked scheme and conceal the scheme they have devised; deep are the thoughts of each heart. But God shoots his arrows at them; suddenly they are struck. He brings them down by their own tongues; all who see them nod their heads. And all men fear and proclaim the work of God, and ponder what he has done. The just man is glad in the LORD and takes refuge in him; in him glory all the upright of heart. Amen.

A child never forgets the wickedness and or the tender loving care they received. I know that for a fact. Like I always say. I know how it feels to be loved and I know how it feels to be hated. A blesse safe day to you and yours.

Some relatives don’t say a damn thing to you, but they say horrible things about you. They act as though you don’t exist, but when they want something they pull you out of the closet that they have you hidden in. It’s like you are at their beck and call…

Ps. 51:7-8. Indeed, in guilt was I born, and in sin my mother conceived me; Behold, you are pleased with sincerity of heart, and in my inmost being you teach me wisdom. Amen.

Hazing; To persecute or torture somebody in a lesser position. eg; fraternity pledge. This time the torture was rape.

7 Sayreville High School, New Jersey, football players were charged with the hazing and sexual assault of 4 team mates. I thank God for the strength and courage of the young men who reported the incident. There are many situations of that nature that is going on and the victims don’t come forward. Shame and blaming themselves are the main culprits of their silence. I appreciate all the men and women who come forward and admit that he/she is gay. I say it is a good thing that they are honest and truthful to themselves and to others. What pisses me off, is the man who complains about the gay man, hurting him physically and mentally, yet he is having sex with men. His point is that, he just likes to have sex with men and women. I say that they are dishonest men who are living in a fool’s paradise, hiding their homosexuality. I don’t like them.

“A party with a snake”

Many years ago when I came to the US I went to a party. There were many people and it was going real nice until I asked to use the bathroom. The hostess pointed out where it was and I headed towards it. As I walked along, the door to the basement was open, I glanced in, saw a nice rabbit hopping around, thought it was cute so I smiled then continued to the bathroom. After I used the bathroom, started walking back, glanced again in the basement, a huge snake was slithering towards the rabbit which was trying to get away. My blood ran cold and panic was coming on. I knew I had to get out of there as soon as possible. I went to the hostess and asked her to call me a cab because I wasn’t feeling well. She did and I left. The next day I was told her husband came to the party with the snake around his neck….

“Up Pretty Early”

I got up at 4:30 this morning. Spent time reflecting, writing and having some good family time… Nice. All I can say is that life is good. I thank God for making me see another day.

Happy Sunday to you and yours.

“A feeling beyond hate”

If there is a feeling beyond hate because they hated me before, but after I washed one piece of dirty linen in public their feelings are beyond hate. I really don’t care because as my father used to tell me. You cannot like everybody you meet, and everybody would not like you. My relatives prefer to talk about the family dirty linen in the family so that the neighborhood would say that they are a beautiful family without tribulations. After I washed that piece of linen they are all in a tizzy.

As the old folks used to say “Let sleeping dogs lie.” This dog has been sleeping for too many years. I am wide awake… 

“On A Personal Note”

“I met a boy who was very polite,” My daughter said.

“You did?”

“Yes. He said hello, how are you? I told him I was fine and I asked him how he was doing; he said that he was fine. He told me his name then he asked me mine. I told him my name then he asked me my age. I told him 17 and as I was about to ask him his age, he said, okay bye and he walked away real fast.”

“That’s funny,” I said laughing.

“Yes it was. I laughed because I knew he thought I was his age. He looked about 12.”

“You know looking 12 doesn’t really mean that you are 12. He could be your age?” I said.

“Nah. His facial expression after he heard my age showed the disappointment. If he was my age he would have stayed and talk to me.”

Thank God every morning when you get up that you have something to do that day, which must be done, whether you like it or not. ― James Russell Lowell (1819-1891)

A blessed safe day to you and yours.

Sincerity is impossible, unless it pervade the whole being, and the pretence of it saps the very foundation of character. ― James Russell Lowell (1819-1891)

Ps. 85:11-12 Kindness and truth shall meet; justice and peace shall kiss. Truth shall spring out of the earth, and justice shall look down from heaven.

I really don’t know about tomorrow so I am not worrying about it.

I Know Who Holds Tomorrow – By Alison Krauss

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4GKNbmYOAow

Pretending makes you feel tired so I am not pretending anymore. I am calling a spade a spade.

“I have been a glutton for punishment. Not anymore”

I remember the first time I asked a particular person to do something for me, she said yes, but her facial expression and body language said ‘NO’.

She did the thing haphazardly and when she gave it to me, she complained about how difficult it was to do. I knew it was not that difficult because it was the simplest part of her daily job. I decided not to ask her to do anything and that was the case for many years. One day I needed something done. I knew that the reluctant person was good at doing it, but I had two minds about asking. Days later she came to my home for me to do something for her. I did it without hesitation. She was pleased with it so I felt that she would be willing to do the thing I wanted. When I asked her, her facial expression and body language was on. I wanted to kick myself, but I said, “Don’t worry I would use something else.”

With out hesitating she said, “Okay.”

 After that incident, she would ask me to do things and I would do it. Today is a different story…

Dixie Chicks - I’m Not Ready To Make Nice

Forgive, sounds good~ Forget, I'm not sure I could~ They say time heals everything~ But I'm still waiting.
I'm through with doubt~ There's nothing left for me to figure out~ I've paid a price
And I'll keep paying.
I'm not ready to make nice~ I'm not ready to back down~ I'm still mad as hell and~ I don't have time to go round and round and round~ It's too late to make it right~ I probably wouldn't if I could~ 'Cause I'm mad as hell~ Can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should.
I know you said~ Can't you just get over it~ It turned my whole world around~ And I kind of like it,
I made my bed and I sleep like a baby~ With no regrets and I don't mind sayin'~ It's a sad sad story when a mother will teach her~ Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger~ And how in the world can the words that I said~ Send somebody so over the edge~ That they'd write me a letter~ Sayin' that I better shut up and sing~ Or my life will be over.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0kFNGNiAs4

GOD --- DOG

Most families religiously pray to God, but there is one member of the family they always treat like a dog and that’s life…

“Quotes I Like”

But paying is part of the game of life: it is the joy of buying that we crave.  ― Gilbert Parker (1862-1932)

There is no influence like the influence of habit.― Gilbert Parker (1862-1932)

Tomorrow is no man's gift. ― Gilbert Parker (1862-1932)

Memory is man's greatest friend and worst enemy.― Gilbert Parker (1862-1932)

In all secrets there is a kind of guilt, however beautiful or joyful they may be, or for what good end they may be set to serve. Secrecy means evasion, and evasion means a problem to the moral mind. ― Gilbert Parker (1862-1932)

There is no refuge from memory and remorse in this world. The spirits of our foolish deeds haunt us, with or without repentance. ― Gilbert Parker (1862-1932)

It's the people who try to be clever who never are; the people who are clever never think of trying to be. ― Gilbert Parker (1862-1932)

The real business of life is trying to understand each other. ― Gilbert Parker (1862-1932)

“I know what it feels like to be loved and I know what it feels like to be hated”

One of my sisters said to me in an adamant tone, “All secrets needs to be buried!” I looked at her feeling intimidated as I was thinking, ‘The freaking secret is blatant in our face, yet you want to bury it. What the… Jesus!

Since I know myself, my so called uncle George Huggins and my so called aunt, Agatha Huggins Simon, were not nice to me. They were very insulting.

All we said to each other when our paths crossed was, “Hello Uncle George. Hello Aunty Gatha,” I would say.

“Hello,” Was the response from them. Not another word.

Agatha was very delicate in her insulting ways, but George was a different story. He did not like me and he showed it. He used to have a Bar-B-Q every year around carnival time. One day I saw my father dressed to go out and the rest of the family getting dressed. I asked where they were going and he told me to George’s Bar-B-Q.”

He is having a Bar-B-Q?” I asked.

“Yes. You did not know?”

I told him no and then I went to my so called mother, George’s sister and asked her about it. She said, “George is having a Bar-B-Q, but he did not tell me to invite you so I did not tell you about it.”

“Who is going to it?”

“He invited all of us, except you.”

They all left and went to the Bar-B-Q. I was hurt, that I was not being included in a family gathering, but I was not surprised that he excluded me.  

George is not even nice to some of his children. He has 3 children, a son and 2 daughters in England from his first marriage. He hates their mother so he hates them too. His parents left him and his siblings land. My so called mother signed all of her land over to him so he has land galore, but all of his holdings are for the two daughters that he has with his second wife. And you can call that GEORGE!

Secret, are burdens that I do not intend to hold on too. I am letting go of everything that is burdensome, onerous, heavy, taxing, arduous, and oppressive. I can go on an on about the BS that my relatives thinks that I should pretend was a good thing!

“Happy Saturday”

Just like Tuesdays, I love Saturday. My mind is clear of all the things that I sometimes stress about. I hit the streets; feel the air, warm, freezing, raining, snowing, smooth road, covered with snow, ice… It doesn’t matter, I act as though it is the best day in the world and I am enjoying life. Yes I am enjoying it. Enjoy your day and be safe.

I told them that I do not want another magazine.

 Every time I order something on the phone, the customer service rep would ask me if I want any magazine. I would tell them no. They would go into a long explanation about the different magazines and how great they are. I would say to them, “Let’s not waste each other’s time. I have all the magazines I need; I do not want another magazine. All I want is the order I placed.” He/she would finalize my order and that would be the end of it.

For the past four months I am getting VOGUE Magazine in the mail. It comes in a clear plastic casing, no return address. No damn information on the sender so I cannot return it. I know that they would eventually start billing me for it. These freaking people could mess up your credit with this shit. It go be their ass an mine oui…

Snoop, pry, poke your nose in, etc., is not a good thing

I did not know that she was a snoop. All I knew is that she did not like me. She always found something wrong with what I said or did. I eventually got rid of her by her own doing.

We were having friends over and although I did not want my out of favor friend to come, I couldn’t write the invitation to her relatives, excluding her. When they arrived, she and I greeted each other pleasantly, but I was ready to put her in her little place, if she did or say anything out of line to me. Everything was going fine although she had a cold appearance towards me. Yes this woman was in my home acting this way towards me. I decided to speech her off, but she went to use the bathroom, so I waited patiently for her to return. Suddenly I heard a sound as though glass broke. I realized what happened and I looked at my husband and I said, “You did not fix it?”

He chuckled, shook his head and said, “Oh gosh. I forgot.”

“That is a real mess,” I said, but I was smiling because I felt that it was damn good and I did not have to say anything thing to her.

When I was cleaning the bathroom earlier that day I took out the shelves in the medicine cabinet. It was a bit difficult to put them back so I leaned them up inside the cabinet, told my husband about it because he usually fixes it. She opened the medicine cabinet; the shelves fell into the sink and shattered. Embarrassment endorsed her last visit to my home…

It is easier to accept a lie than to deal with the truth. Humans, hmm…

Pleased, grateful, appreciative, gratified just THANKFUL and that is how I am feeling.

Many weeks ago my friend Ozra Peters asked me what I am thankful for. There are so many things that I am thankful for, but first I must say thanks Ozra for being the gentle spirit that I have know since childhood. Best wishes to you and your family. Love you always.

I am thankful for waking up and seeing another day, feeling good, my family and their great sense of humor, for never being without food, for always having a story in my head to write about, All in All I am thankful for everything. Amen and AMEN to that.

For a sun and a shield is the LORD God; grace and glory he bestows; The LORD withholds no good things from those who walk in sincerity. Ps. 84:11

A blessed safe day to you and yours.